Chanukah Uncovered

Rebbi Jim Floyd



-----Original Message-----
From: James Floyd []
Sent: Monday, December 21, 1998 3:02 PM
Subject: Chanukah Uncovered

Ladies and gentlemen, it is Sunday morning here and finally the 
shelling has stopped on both the eastern and western fronts 
(Washington and Baghdad) in this 'War of the Crotches.'

And in a few hours National Pubic Radio, a state supported Khazar 
J-w organization,  will bless us all with another in-depth history 
and explanation of Hanukkah. Thank you Lord for the gift of timing.

        Jesus must now compete with a potato patty

                  The Hanukkah Story

Chanukah as you know it was conceived in anger and hate of Christ 
and forced upon J-ws who thought Christmas," was a holiday worth
celebrating", and thought, "it was just too bad that G-d had 
deprived the poor J-ws of taking part in such a meaningful and 
beautiful experience."

The villain in this enterprise was Rabbi Julius Eckman who in 
1866 took the most minor of all J-wish holidays, Chanukah, the 
only one that is post-Biblical, but the only one that occurs in 
December, and made it a major holiday in a valiant effort to 
combat the Christmas Spirit.'

Eckman officiated in a number of Southern congregations and 
was appalled at J-ws and Christians exchanging gifts and "the 
illumination of their parlors in such an injudicious celebration." 
This mamzer took his venom with him to San Francisco where he 
assaulted anyone guilty of "such a want of taste" rarely shown 
by "families of education and refinement."  His rabid ravings 
were directed at those J-ws whom he called, "ignorant fathers" 
and "mothers whom nature intended to fill positions as honorable 
housewives in the kitchen, but whom fortune, by her freaks, had 
misplaced into the parlor." These J-wish mothers, whom
according to the Rabbi, should have remained barren cooks, 
"betray their littleness of mind and their misplacement of fortune 
by playing such a ridiculous part as to be aping Christmas".

This Khazar with no blood-line traceable to Judah 'the hammer'
Maccabaeus created a permanent animosity between J-w and Christian
that will unfortunately last forever and worsen each year.  This 
Herculean accomplishment was the result of his use of vile 
name-calling directed at those who would dare disagree with his 
silliness.  A J-w who delighted in Christmas was "contemptible" 
and the reason for their conduct was because of the "imbecility of 
their parents", who were "playing the pygmy while they should prove 
themselves giants", by rejecting all things Christmas.

So we have here the history of a damnable hate-monger who
single-handedly placed upon his own people a guilt-trip because 
they experienced feelings of love and joy along with Christians 
at this wonderful time of the year.

This Jesus-hater's vileness at first had little visible effect 
upon J-ws, however, they would later do such strange things as 
place a star of David atop their trees and call it a "Chanukah 
bush" to allay this 'Eckmanic' guilt.

Today many are so depressed, at this their most unhappy time of 
the year, that they must have psychiatric help. Thank you Julius.

Ref. Jewish Frontier , Dec. 1963, pp. 29 -31, Joys of Jewish
Folklore, Eichhorn, pg. 445.

                                    Rebbi Jim 'Chaya' Floyd



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