A Madman on the Street Interview

by Eric Thomson

. . . . To understand why things are as they are, it is necessary to learn how they are perceived by people. That's the purpose of the incessant public opinion polls, which are no doubt rigged in order to tell people what they should be thinking, rather than what they are really thinking. Naturally, I lack the resources to conduct a poll of millions, so my interviews are conducted with persons I deem median sample specimens of such groups as Hispano-mestizos, Blacks, Anglo-mestizos and Ostensible Whites.

. . . . I recently encountered an exceedingly rare specimen of White Boobus Americanus, which are fast going the way of the dodo bird. H.L. Mencken had no trouble finding these creatures, because there were many more in his time than there are currently, so my discovery was on par with an ornithologist's finding of a rare bird. The fact that this Ostensible White was in his twenties made him even rarer, for most Ostensible Whites are geezers, past childbearing age.

. . . . My subject was righteous and complacent, for in his perception, President Bush is in office and all's right with the world. He proudly said that he'd voted Republican and that his National Rifle Association membership was paid up. Al Gore would have grabbed his precious guns, had Bush not been elected, he opined.

. . . . I said that it looked as if Bush would do the same thing under the guise of The Patriot Act, which grabs most of the Bill of Rights from U.S. citizens. "Well, that's for defense against terrorists," he said. "‘Terrorist' is what the British redcoats would have called the American rebels," I said. "It's just a magical word used to deprive us of our rights." He said that terrorists had come into the U.S.A., so there was a need for the so-called Patriot Act. I replied, "Who let them in?" No answer.

. . . . I mentioned the hispanic invasion of the country, and my subject brightened. "Bush comes from beaner country, so he knows how to deal with that problem." I said, "he even looks like one." I mentioned that Al Gore and Bush, Jr. both spoke to a Raza Unida convention during their presidential campaigns, and I drew his attention to the fact that La Raza Unida is the equivalent of the Mexican Nazi Party, and it had held a previous convention in Chicago. I said that Bush is pulling the same trick of Ian Smith in Rhodesia: he tells us what we want to hear and gives our enemies what they want. Mexican power in the U.S.A. is rapidly increasing, not decreasing, for the Democrats want their votes and the Republicans want their 'cheap' labor.

. . . . In my subject's opinion, Bush is not responsible for the economic mess. I said that he continues the basic policy of his predecessors: export jobs and import jobless. "But he gave us tax cuts." "How do you think the rich will spend theirs?" I asked. "They'll invest their extra money to create jobs," he recited. "Oh yes," I agreed, "but those jobs will be in China, where they'll get the biggest return on their investments."

. . . . Since economics is called "the dismal science", my subject jumped from that topic to one which cheered him greatly: war. "Bush had the guts to crack down on those ragheads," he said proudly, as if el mestizo presidente had followed his advice. "Gore wouldn't have been up to that," he proclaimed. I said it really had nothing to do with the occupant of the White House, but with Big Oil and Israel. "Israel's a tiny country," he countered. "Small territory does not mean small influence," I said, "and Israel wants to get much bigger, at our expense. That's why we're in Iraq."

. . . . "War is healthy," he declared. "Ah, 'glorious war', `the swimmer, jumping into cleanness,’" I reminisced. "But it's much healthier to stay out of war, if you can." I asked him if he'd ever seen rows of maimed young soldiers in wheelchairs in front of an army hospital. He said he'd not, and I said that I had, and I wonder how that sight would have affected him.

. . . . He responded fiercely, "I love this country." I said that I did, too, and so do all the illegal aliens who want a piece of it. Everyone who wants in loves this country, and they'll say so. There is only one group who hates this country. "Who are they?" he asked. "They are the ones who want to give this country away: the U.S. Government." I left him with two bits of advice: (1) The interests of the U.S. Government are not those of the U.S. people, and (2) If you love America, don't leave it so others can invade it with the U.S. Government's co-operation. He gave me an odd compliment: "Talking to you makes me feel like I've read a book." "Good luck," I said.

DOWZ! & ORION!

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