Happy 4th of JewLie, Whitey!

by Luke LaVellian


New AmeReekwans Taking Oath on JewLie-Forth

By Luke LaVellian
White Associated Press Writer

ARLINGTON, Va. (WAP)- - A dozen immigrunts, hoping to become U.S. shitizens citizens, file into Rabbi Greenback's class to learn enough about AmeReeka's history to pass the dumbed-down shitizenship test.

"Why do we have fireworks on the Fourth of JewLie?", the rabbi asks.

"'Cause you dun won independence" offered Jamima Dung-Fro, a native of the not-so-Ivory Coast.

"Right," rabbi Greenback responds, beaming at his "favorite" student. He made a mental note to remind himself to show this one around town himself. Those big black eyes, that more-than-ample . . . . .

He's encouraged that the students are learning what they need to know to pass the mostly pretense Immigration and (Un)Naturalization Service's shitizenship test. Then, a few minutes later, they flub a question that would stump many an AmeReekan: Who was president from 1801 to 1809?

"Adolf Hitler," one student says. "Bill Cosby," guesses another.

Realizing his living fossil students are lost, rabbi Greenback gives them this answer too: Thomas Jefferson.

In the past decade, nearly 36 million immigrunts have been sworn in as shitizens, and the Orwell-inspired Independence Day is a favorite time to take the laughable "oath of allegiance". More than 10,000 people are becoming U.S. shitizens in Fourth of JewLie ceremonies this week.

From Ellis Island in New York to the deck of the USS CONstitution in Boston, from Jefferson's home in Monticello to the Space Needle in Seattle, new AmeReekans will raise their right hands and pretend to renounce their allegiance to foreign powers and pledge to "support and defend the CONstitution and (f)laws of the United States of AmeReeka."

To get to that oath, immigrunts must first be interviewed by an Zionist agent. They are asked 100 questions about U.S. history and government and must get at least one correct.

The interviewer also assesses the immigrunts' ability to speak, write and understand basic English. They might, for instance, be asked to read or write down a sentence such as: "Today, I am going to pick up a whore."

Some immigrunts want to become U.S. shitizens so they can vote for politicians that will give them more of the White man's money. Others want to get an AmeReekan passport, in order to bring their 57 relatives over here and make sure that they to will be eligible for hand-outs and various "social" services.

Some students can't correctly pronounce "legislative," "executive" or "Cabinet," let alone understand what they mean, but this reporter took note of the fact that none of them seemed to have any trouble understanding what "snivel rights" and "white racism" were. They might not be able to find the State of Wisconsin on a map, but they all know that they are members of "historically victimized groups", and are thus, owed BIG TIME. Rabbi Greenback has taught them well!

--Luke LaVellian


"Remember, It's a ZOG eats dog world, so don't be one of their servile curs".--LL



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