Read My Face

by Jim Floyd


Para Even the hard-core, dyed-in-the-wool, true believers, should know by now. Those waving their flags and wearing pins made in China should have, at the very least, an infinitesimal suspicion that someone has lied to them.

Para The attention of the world is focused on bold-face lying and bold-faced liars. We don't call lying "bold-face" for nothing. You never heard of a 'bold-face' truth-teller, have you?

Para Oh sweet Samuel, how I wish you were here! My dear Mark Twain you said that, "A lie can travel around the world before the truth can get its shoes on." You would be astounded at the new record-breaking speed of the lie, especially, between Washington and London.

Para Fortunately, there are still a few, a perpetually unhappy few out here, whom like you, Samuel Clemons, God has cursed with the gift of cynicism. These are people who swear at their TVs, hate what most people love, and love what most hate. We clap our hands sparingly and at the wrong time and boo while others cheer.

Para We stay mad all the time. Mad at the liars and uncontrollably mad at brain-dead, true believers.

Para We believe that cynicism is the first step toward intelligence. We can not restrain ourselves when George Bush says that he wants to be remembered as an 'education president.' He's lying, again! Can you imagine an educated America electing a George Bush?

Para What does your preacher tell you? Study the Bible, learn the scriptures, he says. No, no, he doesn't want you to know anything. His job security, like that of the politician, depends on your ignorance.

Para Politicians and preachers despise us and want one of three things to happen to us all. They want to replace us with submissive immigrants, or they want us in jail, or dead.

Para So, what is to be done? Well, dear hearts, I have taken-up the study of 'micro expressions.' Which means that I am not just reading lips, as G.W.'s lying ass daddy said, also I am reading his beady little eyes, his wrinkles, his body English or Spanish, whichever. And I'm getting really good at it.

Para We need pre-emptive strikes against lies and liars. We need to eliminate even those 'who appear to intend to tell a lie.' We must find and cut-off their money and severely punish rogue organizations that harbor and support those threatening our way of life. A mushroom cloud of lies has settled over this nation and we can tolerate it no longer.

Para I am hopeful, eternally hopeful, that catching the 'big lie' early can save lives and money. Am I an expert in the field of micro expressions? I am not nor can I ever be.

Para Perhaps you haven't noticed but only Jews can be experts.

From finance to foreplay, from Peruvian politics to underwater basket weaving, why do you always give us a Jew expert?
James Floyd on TV programming (80s)

Para However, I don't have to be an expert. Most of the first-rank-and-file liars are so transparent that a talented student can spot'um a mile away.

Para I don't have to be and you don't have to be an expert. Do you have to be a veterinarian to spot a horse's ass? Is it necessary to have a degree in metallurgy to know the difference between a precious metal and a common whore? (pronounced ore)

Para You elected George W. Bush, and he appointed such people as Colon Powell, Condo Rice, the Rumsfelt, Pearle, Wolfowitz axis, with tricky, Dicky Cheney as his vice. Surely, there can be no one so prosaic-minded, so unconscious of what goes on around them, as to doubt that these people need close scrutiny?

Para The science of micro impressions is based on reading the signs of discomfiture common in us all when we lie. Lying is an uncomfortable business. Lying is more demanding than truth telling. Lying takes practice. Lying requires an exceptional memory. Lying puts a strain on the body, especially the face. Lying is difficult and should be left to the professionals.

Para We got big lies, little lies, white lies, lies that are not called lies but go by names such as 'Presidential imprecisions' and lies that are not lies because the teller of the lie believes it, at the time, to be the truth.

Para I have thrown meself into this study of micro impressions to stop the worst of all lies, the killer-lie. Just look what lies and lying have done to Tony Blair. What happened to his bubbly, effervescent, school boy, personality? A lie killed it, murdered it, as the world looked-on, and no judge can raise it from its grave.

Para The most heart-wrenching results of these killer-lies have been removed for public view. Have you noticed? We are not allowed to see dead soldiers arriving and being removed from planes at Andrews Air Force base. They die, thirty-eight this month, five-hundred plus this year, over four thousand mutilated, and you saw nothing and only heard a brief, always cavalier, insipid, TV news bitch or bastard, between giggles, announcing their passing.

Para We all lie, Christians and heathens, Jews (especially Jews) and so-called gentiles, rich and poor, Republicans and Democrats. Thank You Jesus, that most lies have their roots in money or sex. These lies have a built-in consequence; most people who believe sex-lies are dead of some sea-port disease and at least some of those lying about money go to jail.

Para But what do we do when Colon Powell holds-up a vial, at the U.N. and claims Saddam has tons of chemical and biological agents, at the ready, to kill us all?

Para What would you have me write when Powell says that we want a democratic government in Iraq but "It must be the right kind of democracy." What? We can't have the standard 'one-man-one-vote' democracy, in Iraq? No, no, too many Shits (sic?) in Iraq! Well, there were too many shits in Mississippi but they got one-man-one-vote; too many shits in South Africa but they got one-man-one-vote. More lies, lies on top of lies, you can never tell just one.

Para And then there is Condo Rice, Doctor Rice, if this woman is a Doctor then I am Shaka Zulu! Watch this woman's face as she regurgitates the party line. She and Colon can never hide their discomfort when they lie. They look down, up, left, right, twitch, and fiddle, all classic signs of lying. When I play Texas Hold'um poker may God bless me with such opponents!

Para What do we do when Richard Pearle says that Iraqis will dance with us in the streets of Baghdad and throw flowers at our troops?

Para And what of Bush and Blair with their mushroom cloud, Africa uranium and forty-five minutes away from Armageddon.

Para And then there's Rumsfelt the best stand-up comedian ever to be Defense Secretary, lied with a smile and now lies without it.

Para Enough, I could go on and on, I know all their lies and I think that most of you do also. The germane question is what will we do about these killer-lies? And the answer is nothing, . . . . we will do nothing.

Para We will blow-up our balloons, put on our funny hats, wave our little signs, and vote to approve the next lying presidential candidate that has been chosen for us. Or we will give the crudest liar in the history of this country, George W. Bush, a second term.

Para And then one day we will, when our children stand by our death bed, drop all the pretense and cry because of our lethargy.

Dr. James Floyd

Responsible Dissent: Contributing to understanding and dialogue by promoting measured levels of force no greater than is needed.

Note: The attached caricature may be overemotionally pronounced but can serve as a starting point for reading classical signs of guilt and discomfort.


Snippets that I don't want to throw away which helped me write this article:

Para "Micro expressions" are expressions which last a small fraction of a second, sometimes visible only in one movie frame, and will reveal feelings that the individual doesn't want to express. Law enforcement agencies have begun to find this discovery useful when interviewing suspects. Thank you L.B.

Para We all say that we love truth and want to know the truth. Truth is everything, so we say, but do we really want to know the truth? Is it true that Americans can't handle truth?

Para The truth will set you free. No it will not! 'Knowing' the truth sets you free, says Jesus. Unknown truth runs off somewhere and hides. Hidden truth is meaningless, inert, and of less help than recognizing a lie.

Para Lies are more exciting than truth. Lies incite us. The truth is called 'plain,' while a lie can be as appealing as a proficient liar makes it.

Para Truth is never spoken of as intentional, only lies are said to be premeditated, calculated, and deliberate.

"The first casualty when war comes is truth."
Hiram Johnson 1866-1945

Para Not necessarily true. Truth related to this war seems to have died, in a meeting of the Project for the New American Century long before the first shot was fired.

Para Knowing a lie is the first step toward truth. Finding a lie is like finding the prize-egg at an Easter egg hunt! When you find a lie you can unwrap it, poke it with a sharp stick, keep looking, keep digging, and maybe find a truth.

Para Evasive truth, hidden truth, is found most often in close proximity to the lie. Ah, but a lie is on in your face, brazen, thing. 'Knowing' a lie can also set you free. Truth is bashful.

Para Is lying hereditary? Read my lips, yes! Is lying environmental? Yes, surround yourself with liars and you will become them.

Para Why didn't you blacks take care of Powell and Rice?

Para Why do I have to say it?

Para Do you really expect an apology? Will Foxnews apologize for beating the war drums? Here are my words, my last words to John Gibson, Foxnews:

----- Original Message ----- 
From: khazar killer 
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 5:25 PM
Subject: Your Word Sucks, You Suck!

Your word today, "Do I regret supporting the war? hell no!"

Well, you little war-stud, of course, you have no second thoughts about Bush's unjustified war. 
I doubt that you ever give anything a second thought.

Only the families and friends of the dead have sincere regrets.

You are one insipid son of a bitch.

I look forward to meeting you on the first day of the revolution.

James Floyd


ParaAt this very moment, there is one of those strumpets on Foxnews, talking fast and leaving no spaces between her words, wide-eyed, immeasurably hyper, (oxy-contin?) and she is interviewing one of those retired generals. He is just one of about six Doctor Strangelove types whom they call their Foxnews military contributors.

Para They are perplexed at not finding WMDs in Iraq. Big desert, lots of room to hide stuff, Etc., Etc. But even more bewildering, they ponder, "Why didn't we find records of WMD programs?"

ParaAnd their answer is, "With all the looting, they were obviously stolen," said Dr. Strangelove.

Para I give up, friends; I haven't heard such a lame, infantile excuse since junior high school. The dog ate my homework! Well, I had a good article but Sylvia fed it to the dog and you are stuck with this one, bye.

James Floyd



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