Pardons Lotto

by Jim Floyd


ParaMr. Speaker, I rise in support of one of the nicest old ladies on this hill, Congressperson Barney Frank.

ParaBarney wants to change the constitution as regards the presidential pardons provision and I find the idea very seductive, indeed.

ParaSo, I am asking my colleagues, on both sides of the aisle, to get in bed with Barney on this one. Let us go all the way toward reaching a climax to this perverted pardons and commutations problem.

ParaUnfortunately, Barney's proposition is somewhat panty-waist, teasing even, and would leave us all ungratified and dissatisfied. He wants to simply prohibit the president from issuing pardons in the last two months of his term.

ParaThis is, I believe, another fairyland fantasy, and it should be obvious that this dilemma is too big and hard for little Barney. Therefore, I take a position behind Barney and ask that you consider my limited interjections.

ParaThe answer is a pardons lottery and a commutations lottery! Think about it. We would not have to pay another penny in salary to the president and judging from the massive amounts of money that the Clintons and their extended family received there may be enough to off-set their absurd travel bills.

ParaA lottery would be, immeasurably, more democratic than the auction system that now plaques us all. And, as a Khazar Jew, Barney Frank would be the first to tell you that, in an auction situation, Jews win every time. It doesn't matter if you are auctioning Monica's knee-pads or fine art; the Jew will out bid you.

ParaThose of you who fear losing the Jew or felon/death row Nigger vote, people like Newt there, will find us ready to amend this bill and give the Jew six free tickets, for obvious reasons, and the Nigger three or even five in recognition of that three fifths thing that the yankee court put on them.

ParaWell, I see that my time is up and I know that the House rules prohibit me from giving full expression to my displeasure with this sorry state of affairs, yet, I have to tell you that I have dreams of Andy Jackson caning sorry bastards and of a time, long ago, when tar and feathers were affordable.

ParaThank you, Mr. Speaker.

The Honorable James Floyd
Fourth District, Alabama



Back to The Incomparable Jim "Braveheart" Floyd Archive
Back to The Thought 4 The Day
Back to Stuff I Wish I Wrote -- But Didn't
Back to Patrick Henry On-Line
Back to Martin Lindstedt's Christian Israelite Church&State WWW Page.