An Open Letter to Senator Orrin Hatch

Jim Floyd



From: James Floyd (
Date: Mon, 17 May 1999 13:35:14 -0400 (EDT)
From: James Floyd (


Sir, we have watched your discomfiture, and we share your
frustrations, each time, Senator Charlie Schumer rises to 
disrupt, interrupt, and embarrass this once honorable body, 
the United States Senate. 

The majority of this nation believes that the Senate has become 
irresponsible and unrepresentative, especially, as regards gun 

The ire of the masses hangs above your head like the Sword of 
Damocles.  You must not succumb to these 'Social Saviors' such 
as Schumer, Finestein etc. who would deny us all the manly right 
of protecting our families, homes, person and property.

We do not need any more gun control, however, we do need 
Schumer control.  And since, we know that Schumer and company 
will continue to be unrelenting in their attacks on you and what 
little remains of the second amendment you must immediately 
react, without appeasement.

There is only one answer to this prodigious and continuing 

        Have a staffer spray Schumer with mace and
        while he is disoriented handcuff him to that
        urinal in the basement of the Sam Rayburn 
        Building until your deliberations are finished. 
             Jim Floyd, Letter to Cong. Zeliff

The last time I wrote the above satirical advice was to Congressman 
Bill Zeliff who, much like you, had the misfortune of having to deal 
with Schumer on his committee investigating Waco. 

Zeliff did not take my sagacious instructions, literally, but 
Charlie did, and within hours Schumer sent the FBI a demand for my 
arrest.  The Huntsville office assigned an agent, Ms. Young, to this 
lampoonish case and they proceeded to intimidate, harass, and 
threaten me and my family for weeks.  They backed-off only after 
Alabama and the world began to laugh at their loony-tunes paranoia.

Perhaps, the same unfunny misuse of the FBI will be employed, yet 
again, by Schumer and his gang of loud-mouthed, constitution-hating 
anarchists; who knows, who cares?  Schumer must be stopped, be it by 
humor i.e., laughing him off the Hill, or by Senators of integrity 
who refuse to compromise with his blatantly obvious on-slaught against 
what little dignity remains in 'your' once august chambers of the 
U.S. Senate.

So, following the long established, time-honored, old-fashioned, 
practice of giving full expression to ones displeasure with those in 
high office, and mimicking the grand example of Mr. Peter Muggins in 
his vituperative letter to Lincoln, I, James Floyd, being of sounder 
mind than ninety percent of the Senate say to Charlie Shumer;

            "God damn your god damned old hellfired god
             damned soul to hell god damn you and god 
             damn your god damned family's god damned 
             hellfired god damned soul to hell and good 
             damnation god damn them and god damn your 
             god damned friends to hell."  
              Muggins to Lincoln, circa 1860

c/c to Sen. Charles Schumer (Dem. NY)
       and to the full Senate.

Charlie, I have packed an overnight bag, bathed and have on clean 
shorts and I don't give a damn what you do to me.  So, do as is the 
wont of all scared, little commissars, send your lackeys, you mamzer, 
but first stop this stupid attack on gun rights and if you find the 
time, get a sense of humor.

from  James Floyd, address same as before;

                                     185 Co. Rd. 254
                                     Cullman, Al. 35057




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