From: James Floyd (jfloyd@airnet.net)
Date: Mon, 17 May 1999 13:35:14 -0400 (EDT)
To: senator_hatch@hatch.senate.gov
From: James Floyd (jfloyd@airnet.net)
Subject: HATCH LETTER
THE SCHUMER PROBLEM
Sir, we have watched your discomfiture, and we share your
frustrations, each time, Senator Charlie Schumer rises to
disrupt, interrupt, and embarrass this once honorable body,
the United States Senate.
The majority of this nation believes that the Senate has become
irresponsible and unrepresentative, especially, as regards gun
control.
The ire of the masses hangs above your head like the Sword of
Damocles. You must not succumb to these 'Social Saviors' such
as Schumer, Finestein etc. who would deny us all the manly right
of protecting our families, homes, person and property.
We do not need any more gun control, however, we do need
Schumer control. And since, we know that Schumer and company
will continue to be unrelenting in their attacks on you and what
little remains of the second amendment you must immediately
react, without appeasement.
There is only one answer to this prodigious and continuing
annoyance;
Have a staffer spray Schumer with mace and
while he is disoriented handcuff him to that
urinal in the basement of the Sam Rayburn
Building until your deliberations are finished.
Jim Floyd, Letter to Cong. Zeliff
The last time I wrote the above satirical advice was to Congressman
Bill Zeliff who, much like you, had the misfortune of having to deal
with Schumer on his committee investigating Waco.
Zeliff did not take my sagacious instructions, literally, but
Charlie did, and within hours Schumer sent the FBI a demand for my
arrest. The Huntsville office assigned an agent, Ms. Young, to this
lampoonish case and they proceeded to intimidate, harass, and
threaten me and my family for weeks. They backed-off only after
Alabama and the world began to laugh at their loony-tunes paranoia.
Perhaps, the same unfunny misuse of the FBI will be employed, yet
again, by Schumer and his gang of loud-mouthed, constitution-hating
anarchists; who knows, who cares? Schumer must be stopped, be it by
humor i.e., laughing him off the Hill, or by Senators of integrity
who refuse to compromise with his blatantly obvious on-slaught against
what little dignity remains in 'your' once august chambers of the
U.S. Senate.
So, following the long established, time-honored, old-fashioned,
practice of giving full expression to ones displeasure with those in
high office, and mimicking the grand example of Mr. Peter Muggins in
his vituperative letter to Lincoln, I, James Floyd, being of sounder
mind than ninety percent of the Senate say to Charlie Shumer;
"God damn your god damned old hellfired god
damned soul to hell god damn you and god
damn your god damned family's god damned
hellfired god damned soul to hell and good
damnation god damn them and god damn your
god damned friends to hell."
Muggins to Lincoln, circa 1860
c/c to Sen. Charles Schumer (Dem. NY)
and to the full Senate.
Charlie, I have packed an overnight bag, bathed and have on clean
shorts and I don't give a damn what you do to me. So, do as is the
wont of all scared, little commissars, send your lackeys, you mamzer,
but first stop this stupid attack on gun rights and if you find the
time, get a sense of humor.
from James Floyd, address same as before;
185 Co. Rd. 254
Cullman, Al. 35057
.
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