Fellatio, Toilet Demons, and Other Ills

Jim Floyd



Bless God and Maimonides! Yes, hell yes! Welcome, Josef Lieberman, lion of Judah (?). Lead us, oh chosen one (?). Lead us and cleanse us, oh pious one. Bathe us in the morality of Judaism. I believe, I believe! I believe that only an Orthodox, observant, Khazar Jew, can cure us.

Al Gore, the democrat party, Kooky Roberts, the Judenpresse, et al., are abso-damn-lutely correct. We need the moral authority and super- natural power of Talmudic-Judaism to off-set eight, long, years of ruinous demon possession and to silence the spirit voices of those who have practiced enchantment by means of their membrum. Give the Khazar a chance. So says the so-called, Jesus station, WDJC, Birmingham, so say we all.

And why not? For years, now, all me life, we have watched a parade of skillet-licking, jangled-jowled, preachers try, without success, to bring morality to the Whitehouse and to our people. They all failed, miserably. We watched Billy Clinton walk down the steps of the Methodist church, after worshipping his 'god on a stick,' (their term, not mine) with his New Testament under his arm and we, now, know that he went straight to the Oval Office and into the fellatioic jaws of that she-devil, Lewinsky.

Now, Brother Bubba, in plain, simple talk, what the democrats and the press are telling us is that if we elect an Orthodox Jew (one that's living- right, as ya'll say) he can trump an evil Jew blow-job and restore morality to the democrat party and the government! Makes good sense to me.

Bubba, this Judeo-Voodoo stuff is powerful! If you think them tongue-talking, falling-out-in-the-spirit, snake-handling, holiness folks have a lock on the supernatural, well, you best think again.

It's morning in America, Bubba, and there's a new morning sound around the Floyd house. I got me a Folgers coffee can and some Kosher nuts from El Al air lines and every morning you can hear me, setting in me privy, rattling them nuts and a'scarring off them toilet demons. Go ahead and laugh but I been having some fantastic movements, me prostate is better and I ain't been constipated since I started this rabbinical experiment.

And what's more, I can hardly wait for Vice President Josef to Kosher-up the Whitehouse. No, no, I'm not talking about just the kitchen. Getting them hog-fat demons out of the stoves will be easy. But Vice President Lieberman will have to call upon all the Judaic wisdom of the sages to expel Lilith from the Oval Office and from the basement, all the way up, to the evil spirits that roost under the eaves, the job will be Herculean, indeed!

I can see it all now, our first Jew V.P., standing there with Michael on his right, Gabriel on his left, and Uriel to his front, at war with the spirits, a severed foreskin in a bowl of bloody fluid, into which he dips his fingers, while shaking his black clothes and infuriating the demons by 'figging' them.

Oh, yes! Lieberman will bring prayer back to Washington. He will rise, early in the morning, and thank the Almighty, Blessed be He, that he was not born a woman or a goy. Well, at least it's a prayer, sort of.

And you uppity women, be advised, you with yo nasty periods, you who bleed, every month, and don't die, Lieberman's Talmudic training will help him deal with your kind.

Satire-free conclusions;

Fellow sufferers, after studying the Halakic literature and the Cabala, "theuric," doctrines of this man's religion, is it any wonder that the Mogen David, (star) the yarmulke, and other garb, which they will highlight, tonight, are as offensive to me as hoods and robes are to others.

In L.A., Joseph Lieberman, will take the podium as the first Jew to be nominated for the Vice Presidency of this country. The delegates, setting out front, will have before them the latest, up-to-the-minute, modern, computers. They flew there on the most advanced aircraft, they are staying in hotels, swimming in pools, and eating food that the ancients could not even imagine.

They will be, redundantly, lauding this man because of his "faith," without, of course, knowing what he believes. They will continue to talk about walking across those bridges and into the future without, of course, knowing that this man's theology is a journey back into the darkness of angelology, demonology, mystical, black magical, occultic, superstition. The blacks, browns and others will never see the vile racism and Jew supremacy of their candidate because it is so hard to recognize under the cloak of Divine sanction.

And who can stop this idiomatic tide? Who can rescue my precious babies from this plunge into the dark abyss. Surely I come quickly, Amen, come quickly sweet Jesus.

Ref. Elizabeth Dilling, May she rest in peace.

For a nice 8X10 of Mr. Floyd on the can rattling his can, send $10.00 U.S.

As always, all monies are used to stay out of jail.

James Floyd
185 Co. Rd. 254
Cullman, Al. 35057



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