Where are you, Louie?

by Mike Kemp


Reports from the Balkans are unmistakable.  There were, from 
indisputable evidence stipulated by both sides, dozens of civilian 
dead from an air raid on a motorized convoy carrying civilians, 
refugees.  NATO suspects a Serbian MiG. Serbian sources report as 
fact that it was an American aircraft.

The kicker is that the pilot has apologetically described his 
killing of his fellows.  He coldly described his premeditated 
actions, consciously calling up weapons and positioning to deliver 
ordnance on a small gaggle of *vehicles that looked alike* that 
were traveling down the road.  Defense Secretary Cohen has publicly 
apologized for the *collateral damage.*  The prez has tossed it off 
as inevitable.

A definitive answer is required.  This could nail shut the coffin 
on Slobodon Milosovic and his oft-reported thuggery forever and all, 
exposing him as an animal for staging such a thing.  Or, it could be 
the little girl running down the road naked and on fire from American 
napalm ... or the South Vietnamese general putting a .38 into the 
skull of an North Vietnamese lieutenant who had infiltrated during 
Tet.  It could cause the American people to realize just what the 
term *collateral damage* means.

How? Who can we trust?  Why, we can TRUST the Fibbie lab.  Just ask 
Agent Dr. Whitehurst, formerly HMFIC explosives analyst (canned and 
subsequently paid a large remuneration for getting fired without 
cause, for telling the world that in the Fibbie lab, evidence and 
analysis was manipulated by orders from on high) in Freehdom. 
Therefore, we are required to round up some of Freehdom's finest and 
pack them off to Kosovo.  Get the straight skinny.  Bomb frags. 
Explosives residue.  Let the chips fly.  Come on Louie, ya gotta do 
it.  It's your job. 

Who cares that is foreign?  That didn't slow down your boss, now, 
did it?  Don't tell me that there's a war going on.  Did I hear that 
war was declared?  Noooo. 

Did I miss something?  Yeah ah deid.  Ah hurd dat de Serbs had done 
got pissed an deeclayred waur on US.  Oh.  That makes it ok ... 
doesn't it?  Who declared war on them?  Nobody?!?  Wait a minute. 
It's certainly reasonable to expect that if you drop bombs on 
someone, they're liable to get irritated.  What are we doing over 
there to start with?

You mean that we are bombing a buncha folks that nobody seems to 
have a complaint against?  Why?  Because we got a gang up and told 
them to sign an *agreement* letting us put a bunch of soldiers on 
their streets while they disarm.  Or we would bomb them into the 
stone age.

What if the europeans had gotten together back in the 1800's and 
told us we had to stop killing indians and they were going to put 
troops all over the place.  I don't think so.  What if they did it 
in, say, 1865?  What if they bombarded our coastal towns and 
blockaded our ports?  What if they sank every ship they could find 
and sailed every navigable stream destroying towns?  They would of 
course call every infrastructure *potentially of military use.*

There is international law.  It is considered polite behavior in
international circles to not approach one's neighbor in the middle 
of the night as an armed housebreaker.  Nor as an armed and fueled 
mob threatening arson and death in the street.  If one becomes 
irretrievably pissed at one's neighbor(s), one swears out a warrant 
(declares war) while pursuing a)defense and b)recompense.  To do 
otherwise is international and state-conducted piracy.

Our own laws dictate in Article I section 8 that the congress shall 
have the power to declare war.  Article I section 8 also speaks to 
the congress' duty to arm and provide for the militia ... though the 
states shall control and deliver upon Washington's request.  THEN 
there's an army for our president to command.  And a mission.  
Dictated by Congress. 

     "War. Mr. President, go do it. We have spoken with the 
     military commanders, and they have told us what has to 
     be done and what it will cost and that it can be done. 
     Here are the keys. Crank'er up."

Mr. President can react to an acute attack on American security and
interest.  No such situation has been demonstrated to exist.  We 
have, with a gang of other folks with no standing in law to press 
an attack, joined in a brutal and destructive attack on the physical 
infrastructure of a sovereign nation.

The Federalist Papers speak to the presence in the states of the 
militia, assuring that an attack or threat or unforseen circumstance 
deleterious to public order would be dealt with by the citizens' 
militia, and if major would soon have the forces of nationalized 
militia from other states joining in the larger effort.  The 
Constitution speaks to the use of the militia -- to execute the 
laws of the union and suppress insurrections and repel invasions. 
It is perilously close to accurate to say that the President is
in a state of insurrection.

So... LOOOOIE!  LOOOOOOOIE!  Freehdom, where are you?  Congress? 
Where are all these freaking Constitutional scholars from January? 
How about it, senators?  I know ya'll can't declare war, but ya'll 
certainly qualify as interested parties.  Mr. and Ms. Justices, 
yoo hoo, whassup?  Ya'll got ennythang t'say?

Sheeeit. Ye cain't git good hep nowhar...


William Michael Kemp


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