The Manchurian Oswald’s Right Buttock

#1in a Series -- How Do I Get Myself Into These Messes?



Editor’s Note: As a right-wing Libertarian politician, militiaman, and known government pub-lick enemy, I receive stuff through the mail from unknown sources all the time. When I ran for state rep in 1994, I recieved gratis all the Mark from Michigan and Linda Thompson stuff I could handle from people who gave such addresses as “Chester A. Right” or “Rush Dittohead” from big towns such as St. Louis or Kansas City or Witchita all the time. By the time I ran for governor of Missouri last year I was getting stacks of nut-mail. Some of it serious, most of it not.

The advent of the computer has changed all this. The messages get stranger. With the advent of free e-mail, it has become a creschendo, especially from my WWW pages. Unsolicited e-mailings all the time. Some good. Most bad.

So recently, what should I get but the following: (Blanked out in its particulars)

Subject:Definitely no subject, but well worth watching.

Given that I have a public key of:

Version: 2.6.2


and you, Mr. Lindstedt, have a known public key of:

Version: 2.6.2


What do you make of the following public message?

Version: 2.6.2

 . . .

Well, I unhooked the modem, scrunched over my computer, and then proceeded to type in my PGP passphrase. There, to my surprize -- and gratification (there are not too many people who know or practice PGP loops re-encoding the encryption) was a new public key from Deep Threat(2), a new block of encryption, and another message saying:

Mr. Lindstedt, of course the government knows about your main computer. Please use your old 8088 to decrypt the new block.

So, hopefully looking unflappable, but my heart racing, I cut and pasted the new text to another floppy, and went to another building to decrypt the message. It said:

Mr. Lindstedt, we know about you. All about you. While you went to all the patriot gatherings, and evaluated the cause, we were evaluating you. You have measured up to our standards. We want you to be our spokesman, our Adam Selene, our John Galt, our Aaron. You shall speak what is written and not one jot or tittle more.

Therefore, you shall gird up your loins and garner a free e-mail account at and use the following account #, and password to get into the account set up for you.

YHWH will guide you.

--Melchizadek of the Phineas Priesthood

The Phineas Priesthood! As a Separdim Zionist is to the ZOG, and past the 33d degree is to Freemasonry, and the Malcolms is to Black Muslims, so is the Phineas Priesthood to Christian Identity. The Creme de la Creme! And The Melchizadek no less!

So naturally enough, I girded up my loins with a new set of jockeys, and hastened to set up an account at I knew what was up. I would be using somebody else’s computer to get my e-mail from off the Internet. The PhineasPriesters didn’t pick someone who just fell off the turnip truck yesterday!

So I went to the local college with a floppy or two. Sure enough, there was a hotmail account waiting for me, easily accessible using the password. All the messages were in PGP code. I was instructed to generate a new public PGP public key and to place it upon one of my WWW pages under a filename without any links to it. I did so, and later was instructed to delete the file from off the server.

Sometimes I feel like Joseph Smith with the gold plates.

Everything I shall reveal is what I have been commanded to say. One never crosses the Phineas Priesthood. If you ever compromise even a little with the state-god or its priesthood of Baal, then your days are numbered. Numbered rather small, that is. Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin and all that. YHWH will be pissed too.

--Martin Lindstedt,
Messenger from YHWH, & sometime politician.

Onward Christian Soldier to:

The Manchurian Candidate's Right Buttock #2?
Or turn a craven Gadarenian swinishness towards SATAN!



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